Father’s Day began in 1910 and was intended to honor fathers annually on every third Sunday in June. This tribute and honor has been passed on from generation to generation to show gratitude to our fathers.
This year Father’s Day will be different for many families throughout Philadelphia. As of June 17, there have been 255 murders so far this year. These murders are having an everlasting effect on families and communities. Many fathers are no longer with us, leaving us to learn how to live without them.
On this journey, I’ve come across a lot of fatherless children but had the pleasure of getting to know a young man named Saiir Garner. Saiir is eight years old and lives with the pain of losing his father, Dyshon Garner, in August 2017 at the tender age of four.
Imagine you’re four years old and your father is your world. You dress like him, you dance like him, you try your best to be him and one day your father is no longer around. This is the reality of Saiir. His sister Saniyah was 11 months old when her father passed, so she only knows him through videos, pictures and stories from family and friends.
Saiir shared some memories of his father: Going on vacations, playing with him, his hugs, kisses and going to the store being allowed to buy candy.
Dyshon’s children are fortunate to have a village that has stepped in to assist with the everyday raising of his children. Sharon K. Smith, Dyshon’s mother, is active in her grandchildren’s lives and keeps the legacy of her son alive.
You will see Sharon doing advocacy work with the youth, taking part in marches, and cleaning and decorating her son’s grave. She continues to be the voice of Dyshon Garner each day. This is how she copes as well as assists other mothers going through the same thing.
How as a community can we assist children, one may ask? The answer is not a simple fix, but we as a community can be there for a family.
Men, we need you to step up and take these children by the hand. You’re not the child’s father, but that child needs you. Pick that child up and take them to the playground, sit down and have real talks with them.
Moms, ensure your child is in counseling, and keep them active in meaningful activities. Let the school know that the child has had a significant loss so they can understand their needs.
Unfortunately, there are many children out here suffering in silence and will turn to the streets to fill that empty void they may have. It’s up to each one of us to help them so they will not become a statistic, but a contributing member of society.
The fathers who lost sons to gun violence are also suffering in silence. Some may be more irritated, in denial or playing the blame game. How can we assist these men going through this?
We need to be patent and kinder toward them even when it seems impossible. When they cry out for help, we must be there to guide them and let them know we are there.
Men, it’s all right to cry and express your feelings. So please be honest with yourself so the healing can begin with you, and the effects will trickle down throughout the family so everyone can heal together.
Happy Father’s Day.
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