This story was produced as part of our Writing Heals program, in which we hire a family member of a victim of homicide to write the stories of people who have been killed in Philadelphia. For more information or to sign up to write about someone you lost to gun violence, click here.
Story by RuNett Ebo, mother of Diallo Braheme Gray
Being the shortest of four brothers, Diallo Braheme Gray always seemed like he was in a hurry to grow up. And he had to learn quickly to keep up with the oldest ones, who were six and seven years older.
“My son had entrepreneurship in his blood. Diallo got his first job when he was eight,” RuNett Gray said. “I never forgot the day he came to me and said, ‘Mom, I need to have my own money’. I was giving him an allowance but that wasn’t what he wanted. I agreed to let him work if he kept his grades up, but I doubted that he could really get a job at his age. The next thing I knew, he was working for our family doctor, putting out trash, raking leaves and running errands. This led to him doing the same thing for some of the seniors in the community.” Later, he became the go-for guy at one of the neighborhood barber shops.
That was not the only thing he did to earn his own money. “I was surprised when he asked me if he could have a red wagon,” RuNett said. “It was the Christmas before his tenth birthday. Kids were busy with skateboards and bikes. Nobody had a wagon. I could not imagine why he wanted it.” Diallo took that wagon and went to one of the local supermarkets. He stood outside like the older men, asking customers if they wanted a “hack” when they came out. Some thought it was a joke; this little guy standing there with his wagon.
Diallo’s first customer was a woman with a two-year-old and 2 bags in her shopping cart. She wasn’t sure what to make of him when he asked, “Miss, you wanna hack?” She was only going one block, so she agreed. Dee retrieved 2 empty boxes from the store. He put her bags in the first box and to her surprise, he put a pillow in the second box for her toddler to sit down. When they arrived at her house, the woman was so impressed, she gave him a $5.00 tip.
He was so proud when he came home. He used that and other money he made to buy milk and bread for the house and snacks for himself.
Most people called him “Dee” but he was a young man with many nicknames. Diallo, whose name meant “bold champion” was a bit of a daredevil so his whole family called him “Danger Dude.”
Diallo was born on January 12, 1978 and he was born in a hurry! “My labor was normal,” his mother, RuNett Gray said, “but he shot out like a cannon ball and the doctor had to catch him.
He didn’t cry right away so the doctor smacked him on his bottom when he was holding him upside-down.” His mother laughed when she said, “It was the craziest thing. When the doctor smacked him, he fussed as if he was cussing. He didn’t stop until I called his name, “Diallo,” that’s when he actually started to cry.”
Dee lived most of his young years in Germantown. He attended public schools: Lingelbach, Emlen, Ada Lewis and then, Germantown High, all the way to the 10th grade. Being dyslexic, he struggled a bit, so he was put in Special Ed classes. He hated it but he did acquire his G.E.D. later at age 18. A typical day for him included walking his dog, Biscuit, going to school, running track at Mallory Playground after school or working.
In 1989, when he was 11 years old, he attended Prints-in-Progress, an after-school arts program that one of his teachers suggested might help him with dyslexia. Diallo created a collage that he called “Barbara’s Earring” because his teacher’s earring caught his eye. He received an award when it was later selected to be on the cover of a book entitled Parent’s Guide to the Delaware Valley.
Diallo’s love of photography and videography landed him a job as the lighting technician for a local photographer. He learned a lot from that job. He started videotaping many family events which explained why he was seldom seen in any photos or videos. He loved recording family events especially those involving his nieces and nephews.
Because he was the Mr. Fix-it of the family, one of his brothers nicknamed him “MacGyver”. If some appliance was broken, he would find a way to repair it or at least try to make it work. The family never knew what things he would wire together! One of his ways to make money was to scavenge for discarded appliances, fix them and sell them on his porch. He made the acquaintance of a man who had a neighborhood repair shop. “People think things are broken but sometimes, they’re just dirty,” the man told him. “Clean them up and they will be good as new.” That’s what Dee did. The man even made a space for Diallo to sell the things he fixed in his shop. At 12, he had his own bank account. It was the beginning of his lessons as a businessman and negotiator. Dee learned how to haggle, and he was good at it.
This came in handy when he started attending computer fairs. He did not just want to know how to use a computer; he wanted to know how to build them. He often pestered the vendors about how different parts worked. He annoyed them so much they would give him parts just so he would go away. He spent many hours in his basement refurbishing discarded computers he found; thus acquiring the nickname “Caveman” from one of his older brothers. His mission was for every household in the family to have a computer. He had almost accomplished it before he lost his life.
Dee was no stranger to the dangers in the street. He learned that being in the wrong place at the wrong time can get one into trouble. At age 14, he was shot when he took a short-cut through a schoolyard back in 1992. He survived but that incident and his being bi-polar contributed to his drug addiction when he was later arrested for possession. He was sentenced to a juvenile correctional facility where he got his G.E.D. and discovered a love for gardening.
After his release, he began to turn his life around. He met Karen B., the love of his life and he enlisted in the U.S. Army, the same branch of service where his father served. True to his nickname, “Danger Dude,” it was no surprise that once he completed Basic Training, he wanted to study demolitions and explosives. All of that was put on hold when he became a father. At first, he was terrified. “Girls are delicate, and I might hurt her,” he told Karen. In addition, there was a complication when she was born so, Dee was granted inactive duty status from the army. However, once he held her for the first time all his fears evaporated. Dee was a Trekkie, so he named her Kira after one of the characters in the Star Trek series. He bought one of those carriers that he could strap to his chest and that’s where you would find Kira all day long. “It was crazy, Karen said, “I almost had to make appointments to see my child. However, he did bring her to me when she was hungry.” When she could sit up, Dee put her in a highchair with a dummy keyboard, while he worked on a computer in the dining room. It was clear that Kira was the second love of his life.
Dee did not return to the military, instead he took jobs in sales. No matter where he worked, he would make top salesperson within a week. He even did well in telemarketing! The family used to joke that Dee could sell a broken-down bridge to someone and convince them that they needed it.
Despite all his accomplishments, his addiction was still the thing that vexed him. Each time he stayed clean, we praised him but each time he fell, feelings of failure overwhelmed him and depression followed. He died on February 25, 2004. Diallo had made such an impact on his nieces and nephews that at his memorial service which took place on March 5th, 2024, they ordered a floral arrangement in the shape of a computer! Service was held at Germantown Church of the Brethren, 6611 Germantown Avenue, Philadelphia.
He is survived by his parents, his 4 brothers, his daughter, his fiancée, his grandmother, nieces, nephews, other family members and a host of friends.
